Feline pals or FOES?

In July 2001, world-renowned film director, Lawrence Guterman had released a movie called Cats & Dogs. The movie depicted an evil group of cats plotting to take over the world and enslave mankind. For its time, the movie was very strange. People had never been exposed to such types of movies before. A movie that involved animals taking over humanity was a little odd compared to all the cliché, action movies being launched during the late 1990s and early 2000s. Critics rated the movie 5.2/10 on IMDb and 54% on Rotten Tomatoes and deemed it unworthy of being shown to public audiences. Little did they know Guterman was not trying to make an entertaining movie. He was trying to warn everybody about something huge coming our way.

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Cats date all the way back to ancient Egypt. During this era, practically any other species were considered inferior to the dominant, feline race. In fact, cats were often found in positions of power alongside kings. They were either servants to the king or weapons on the battlefield. Ancient Egyptians had fallen under cats’ affection so much that they built an enormous statue for them, known today as the Sphinx. Now think for a moment. Why would the great, Egyptian empire spend so much time constructing a statue in admiration to a lower class of species such as cats? Were the Egyptians really infatuated by the adorable cats?  The Ancient Egyptian empire was considered one of the strongest civilizations in its age, conquering almost any other territories that got in its way! It just doesn’t add up!

Earlier this week, I was asked to babysit my friend’s cat. For most of the week, it was pretty easy. All that had to be done was feed the cat food and water everyday and play with the cat every once in awhile so it doesn’t get too antsy. It was like taking care of the typical house pet. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary…until this morning. When I woke up this morning, I had noticed a strange symbol marked on my head. I figured that I had probably cut myself on accident while playing with the cat and so I ignored it. As the day passed by, I seemed to get a strong urge to play with a ball of yarn.  Curious as to what this symptom and symbol was, I decided to go on Google and do some research. What I found was shocking. The symbol belongs to none other than the all, powerful Illuminati!

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IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!! THE TRIANGLE NOSE! THE TRIANGLE EARS?! THE EYES?!?!?! CATS ARE ILLUMINATI!! The Egyptians weren’t adoring the cats!! They let the cats get too close and they got BRAINWASHED INTO MINDLESS ZOMBIES!!!!!! Heed my words fellow brothers and sisters for I too will be brainwashed in a matter of minutes! You mustn’t be fooled by their cuteness for you will let your guard down! Keep your eyes on your cat at all times, make sure they don’t leave your house! It’s only a matter of time until this secret order of furry felines take over the world!

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The evidence is there

If you’ve ever been on the internet then you’ve seen the cat videos the endless and endless videos of these hairy creatures. They seem to be harmless, cute and cuddly. Very lovably right? Well from a young age when they are kittens they are already deceiving you. How can these bundles of joy ever be doing that? Well they are, they’re gathering in their secret society. Plotting and plotting on how to take over the world or how to steal all the cat nip not sure which one but their out there watching, purring, plotting, and gathering by the thousands. I suspect grumpy cat is the ring leader but who knows. They use themselves to “dumb down” the population so that when the time is right they can strike. People say cats are lazy but that’s just another trick they are actually ninjas. Plus where do you think they are all day at home?!?!?!?!?!? Nah bro they round and about meet up with their 9 live brothers and sisters. Why do they have 9 lives anyway. Well if you think about it a 9 is a upside down 6 and if you have 3 cats then well 999 or 666. As I said before I think Grumpy cat is the ring leader, just look at his face and this undeniable evidence on how evil he is. Also these graphs show how watching cat videos has greatly taken over our lives. Not to mention what it does to your sanity. I think I’ve located some of their underground meeting locations so get your dogs and spray bottles, we’re striking first!!!!